It’s taken me a while, but I’ve at last understand that the sincerest friends are the ones who have your back when matters grow gloomy, and the stench of life turns savage. They will have your best interest in mind no matter what and listen without judgment. I assumed I had that in my Buddy L., but after seven years of friendship, the relationship had become increasingly toxic.
I met L at Job Corps, and we quickly became friends. Her vivacious personality and thuggish ways complemented my quiet, fun, and reserved demeanor. Our friendship started on a rapid course. Fact is, she is the one who chose me to befriend, but as time went on, it fizzled in epic fashion.
There was a group of us adolescents that hung out on the weekends. We’d go to the beach, to clubs, bowling, movies, and did several fun stuff together. Me and L were the closest out the group. We were the wild gang, with no sight of a significant destiny. L and I realized that if we continued on the road we were living, we would be stranded on the island of emptiness. We created a pack to finish out our studies at Job Corps with prime grades, graduate, and get an apartment jointly.
We got our apartment together before we graduated and established employment faster than a wink and twinkling of an eye. L and I pulled out from our group of derelicts to stay on the right track. Life with no vision carried a powerful hold on all of us. The others in our crew did not graduate, nor did they try. L. and I broke the chains and transformed our destiny.
We were doing good moving up in our new founded careers and out fairly decent apartment. L. held her career extremely serious. She’d prepare wardrobes for the week, make her lunch for the following day as soon as she came in. At nine o’clock she was in the bed. My assessment was I was awfully young to live like an old woman, swaying back and forth in my rocking chair, commemorating the good ole times.
My social life was very competitive. I began doing volunteer work for women and homeless shelters. Every other Sunday I would explore open houses of multi-million dollar homes to keep my vision in the forefront. I went on having fun and mingling because I was taught your best life is on the journey.
L developed into a pretentious snob, trying to be someone she prized in the elite world. She tried to fit in to something that required so much work. I still considered her my good friend, and she did not to reciprocate. L mentioned to me she was working weekends on projects, but the truth was she was out with her work family trying to become. I found this to be humorous because she had rough edges, a foul mouth and her attire was comparable street wear.
I learned L has been circulating lies about me. She has been following up with some of her old acquaintances and producing far-fetched narratives. She put a spin on my entire life story. One fabrication is that I was late for rent a lot. I purchased the money orders, always. I worked at a bank, so it was effortless for me to do this. Which means it was invariably my cash and she would give me her portion late, I mean truth be told.
I did not take life seriously, according to her. Yes, I socialized, but I was steadily progressing and transforming in both my social life and career. The shocker was that she also informed our old comrades that no one liked me in our apartment building. Our neighbors consistently invited me over for game nights, out on the town, and to their families’ homes. Our neighbors found L to be unapproachable and snobbish. They had names and situations only L and I would identify.
Simply put L. was in a hushed competition with me. I recognized her competing nature, but I did not consider she would apply her obsessiveness as a weapon to undermine her best friend. She was constantly borrowing my clothes because my style was professional, fun, and flirty. I did not mimic anyone; I embraced my personality and quirks. L. was essentially a jean and tennis shoe girl. She was excellent at basketball and soccer that is who she genuinely was.
Life happened L. moved out, which there were no harsh emotions on my end. I had developed, and no longer hinged on her friendship to certify me. We would meet up struggling to force together the shattered fragments, but nothing showed to fit. I would run into individuals who would report how dismissive L was of our friendship.
Later on, I found that L. began exploiting me. I offered to compensate for her meals, outfits, or pay her way to events, being she would point out she could afford nothing. Someone literally yanked her ATM receipt out of her hand, and it exposed she had over $7K in the bank. The person warned me of her disrespect and wanted to expose it.
I never seen L as a user or the dim soul she had become. She was someone who I whooped so hard with that I practically pee my underpants. The person I could talk to until the early hours of the morning. She had my back, and she felt safe to tell me all her fears and weaknesses. What had transpired that she ripped away from our bond?
I’ve seen her through her fair share of disastrous relationships, exes, and intoxicated sobs. She will never find the one! Then one day she does, she gets engaged to this remarkable fellow that she always fantasized of, but I am not a bride’s maid or maid of honor. Nor did I get invited to the wedding. I was defrauded to the opportunity of being her children’s God's mother. Worse, I was no longer welcomed to her life to celebrate as we rose to higher heights. I was the person she raced to when her life fell apart.
Without her genuineness, L. wouldn't fit in. I don't know the person who would throw a friendship away. It is a sad existence when we restrict ourselves from freedom.